7 Mental Wellness Tips for Dealing with a Self-Centered Person

You know that person who always turns the topic back to themselves? We’ve all met one. They don’t show much interest in others and somehow always bring the focus back to their own life. It could be a friend who turns every chat into a long monologue, or a sibling who thinks their problems are always more important or bigger than yours.

Dealing with someone who is self-centered tests your patience. It can be emotionally draining as well. However, here’s the good news: You don’t have to cut them off to protect your mental wellness. Instead, you can set boundaries, manage your expectations, and choose how you respond to them.

In this blog, we’ll share simple and helpful tips to protect your peace while still keeping relationships with self-centered people.

1. Set Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries matter, especially when you're dealing with self-centered people who may not even realize they're draining you. They don't bother that they’re dominating conversations or dismissing your feelings.

Imagine this: Your coworker is always complaining about how busy they are. You try to talk about your stress, but somehow the conversation goes right back to them. After a while, you start feeling mentally drained every time you talk to them. This is where setting a boundary can help.

You don’t have to be rude. You can simply say something like: “Hey, I want to be there for you, but I’m feeling overwhelmed myself right now.” This kind, honest response lets you protect your mental health without causing a fight.

2. Lower your Expectations

It can be tough to accept, but some people simply aren’t able to connect with you emotionally. You might wish they’d ask how you’re feeling, show interest in your life, or celebrate your wins. If someone always thinks only about themselves, it’s hard for them to care about you in the way you need.

Waiting for things to get better can be heartbreaking when they don’t. For example, you try to share something you're proud of, but the other person quickly turns the conversation to their own achievements. Over time, you realize it hurts less when you stop expecting a big reaction from them. Instead, you start sharing with people who do listen and support you. Letting go of unrealistic expectations can protect you from a lot of emotional stress. When you stop hoping that someone will change, you free yourself. Then you get to focus on what actually helps you feel better.

3. Choose When and How to Engage

You don’t need to participate in every conversation. You’re allowed to step away, change the topic, or keep things surface-level when necessary.

Suppose your cousin always complains and never asks about your life. You can choose to keep the conversation simple instead of going deep into another emotionally one-sided call. Like you talk about a new recipe you tried or ask about a show they like. You still connect, but in your own way. You don’t waste your emotional energy on things you can’t control. This helps you feel calmer and more in control of yourself.

4. Speak Up Using “I” Statements

Sometimes, it’s important to speak up, especially when the person means a lot to you. Try using “I” statements to express your feelings. This helps you speak your truth without sounding like you’re blaming them.

For example, you can say: "I feel dismissed when I share something personal, and the conversation moves back to you so quickly. I just need to feel heard sometimes."

This kind of message is less likely to make the other person defensive. Even if they don’t react well, you’ve still spoken up for your emotional needs. That feels strong and powerful.

5. Find Other People Who Listen

One-sided relationships can make you feel like you don’t matter. That’s why you need people who get you and actually want to hear what you have to say. People who ask how you’re doing. People who remember what you said last time and follow up.

Imagine someone shares their struggles with a friend who just nods and then quickly starts talking about their own problems. This leaves the person feeling worse and unheard. But later, they talk to someone who truly listens. That person offers comfort and care. This time, they feel seen, understood, and supported. It’s okay to make space for the right people and it’s okay to let go of the expectation that everyone will meet your emotional needs.

6. Practice Self-Compassion after Draining Interactions

Ever talk to someone and feel like they sucked the energy right out of you? That’s what it’s like with self-centered people. That’s a clear sign you need to pause and take care of yourself. Slow down. Take time to reset. You could write in a journal, go for a walk, listen to calming music, or just sit with your thoughts for a few quiet minutes.

Here’s a calming trick, breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and breathe out for 8. Simple, but powerful. This can help you calm down and let go of stress. Don’t blame yourself for feeling this way. It’s normal to feel drained. What matters is that you take time to care for your own mental and emotional well-being.

7. Accept That You Can’t Fix Them

This one can be tough, but it’s important to remember that you can’t change someone else’s personality. You might wish they would notice their behavior. You might hope they’d stop being self-centered. You may even wait for them to apologize and be more thoughtful. But the truth is—you can’t fix them and that’s okay. At the end of the day, it’s up to you how much energy you give and to whom. But in reality, change only happens when someone wants to grow, and not everyone is ready or willing.

It’s not on you to deal with the emotional weight of someone else’s personality. Rather than focusing on fixing them, shift your energy toward what you can control, like how you react, how you protect your peace, and who you choose to give your time to.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a self-centered person isn’t easy. They may not mean to hurt you, but their actions can still leave you feeling unheard, unsupported, or drained. The key to staying mentally well isn’t changing them. It’s choosing to put yourself first every time.

You can set healthy boundaries. You can express your needs. You can walk away from conversations that leave you empty. You can surround yourself with people who make you feel seen.

Mental wellness isn’t just about therapies, meditation, or journaling. Sometimes, it’s about making hard choices in your relationships. It’s learning when to hold on, when to stand your ground, and when to walk away. Prioritize your peace. Your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s.

FAQs: Dealing with a Self-Centered Person

1. How do I know if someone is self-centered?

A: They talk mostly about themselves. They rarely ask how you're doing. They make everything about them, even your struggles.

2. Is it okay to set boundaries with them?

A: Yes. Boundaries are healthy. They protect your peace, not hurt anyone.

3. What if they get upset when I speak up?

A: That’s possible, but you’re not responsible for their reaction. You can say what’s on your mind without being unkind.

4. Can self-centered people change?

A: Sometimes, yes, but if they’re willing. The hard part? Most of them don’t see anything wrong with what they’re doing. Don’t wait for them to change. Focus on you.

5. How do I protect my mental health around them?

A: Keep conversations short if needed. Avoid deep emotional topics. Spend your time with those who bring peace, not pressure.

6. Should I cut them out of my life?

A: Only if it’s affecting your mental health badly. You can also limit contact or shift the kind of relationship you have. It’s okay to love someone from a distance.

7. Why do I feel guilty for stepping back?

A: You care because you're human, but protecting your peace isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.